be sincere
J: I can’t stand the dumb office chit chat. Every time I make a salad at least two people say: “Wow that looks healthy!” I mean, for fuck’s sake, that’s how salads work! What on earth do you people eat to act so surprised to see green stuff on a plate?
M: Haha, that’s why I think people find me awkward sometimes or a sociopath – ‘cause I just can’t do it. I don’t give a fuck and I don’t want to know that my food smells or looks amazing, why do they always say that in the office?
J: I know, another difficult one is dealing with “Mondays suck” thing and “How was your weekend?” chat. I mean the whole “What did you do? Did you go to the park? Which park? Did you sit on the grass or the bench? Sun or shade? Did you have wine or went alco-free?”
M: This morning I was stuck in this awkward flapjack recipe conversation in the kitchen. Was making coffee and a girl eating a flapjack noted how good it tastes, so the other girl gave her 10 minute brief on how to make them! I was just standing there and wondering if the other one was taking notes…
J: Ha! Hope you took notes! What about: “You look tanned, been away” thing?
M: Hahaha, “Nice colour!”
J: “Nice shoes, where did you get them from?”
M: “Sooo (long pause, gathering thoughts) – any holiday plans?”
J: Oh that’s a good one!! You can expand here, for example: “So where are you off to?... Oh Spain, where about?.. Santander? Is that a bank? (place for laughter) No, really is that South or North?”.. And then regardless of the answers to any of those questions“OH NIIIIICE ENJOY!!”
M: Or the sad “Oh, I need a holiday, it’s been ages!”
J: Man, we are forgetting the obvious! Crappy London weather, that is priceless! Well now it’s warm, so the popular topic now: “The weather is really great this week, such a pity to be stuck in the office AND/OR it’s much better getting up in the morning and walking to work when the sun is shining!”
M: Exactly. And then “Well, that’s our only summer, so we better enjoy it!”
J: Always awkward.
M: Haha, that’s why I think people find me awkward sometimes or a sociopath – ‘cause I just can’t do it. I don’t give a fuck and I don’t want to know that my food smells or looks amazing, why do they always say that in the office?
J: I know, another difficult one is dealing with “Mondays suck” thing and “How was your weekend?” chat. I mean the whole “What did you do? Did you go to the park? Which park? Did you sit on the grass or the bench? Sun or shade? Did you have wine or went alco-free?”
M: This morning I was stuck in this awkward flapjack recipe conversation in the kitchen. Was making coffee and a girl eating a flapjack noted how good it tastes, so the other girl gave her 10 minute brief on how to make them! I was just standing there and wondering if the other one was taking notes…
J: Ha! Hope you took notes! What about: “You look tanned, been away” thing?
M: Hahaha, “Nice colour!”
J: “Nice shoes, where did you get them from?”
M: “Sooo (long pause, gathering thoughts) – any holiday plans?”
J: Oh that’s a good one!! You can expand here, for example: “So where are you off to?... Oh Spain, where about?.. Santander? Is that a bank? (place for laughter) No, really is that South or North?”.. And then regardless of the answers to any of those questions“OH NIIIIICE ENJOY!!”
M: Or the sad “Oh, I need a holiday, it’s been ages!”
J: Man, we are forgetting the obvious! Crappy London weather, that is priceless! Well now it’s warm, so the popular topic now: “The weather is really great this week, such a pity to be stuck in the office AND/OR it’s much better getting up in the morning and walking to work when the sun is shining!”
M: Exactly. And then “Well, that’s our only summer, so we better enjoy it!”
J: Always awkward.